We as women are so intuitive and yet when we know something deep down, we don’t always want to trust our gut. We don’t want to believe that someone that should love and care for us would betray our trust. It makes you feel that he doesn’t value or respect you, and you feel worthless. You can’t imagine what’s going through his mind.

With my boyfriend, I remember him looking me straight in the eye at the beginning of our relationship and him telling me, “I don’t share.” It was his way of saying that he expected me to be faithful to him. The ironic thing is that everyone asked why I was attracted to my boyfriend. Did I know I was “dating beneath” me? That I was settling?

Well, I don’t know that I believe in the hierarchy of dating so much. I liked him as a person and as a friend. Without a doubt, I believed he would never intentionally hurt me and that since I was apparently such a “good catch” I thought he’d be far rather worried about me getting bored and straying than him being unfaithful to me.

We like to think that will others will behave and treat us like we treat them. With respect, faithfulness and a willingness to do always try to do the next right thing. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work that way.

Then, of course, there’s the other woman. In my case, it was his ex-girlfriend. Yes, he was using her for sex. My inner mean girl is going to come out here, but it’s really hard to know your boyfriend is cheating on you with a woman who isn’t attractive, frumpy, and looks 15 years older than you. What on earth?

I’d show her pictures to friends, and they’d roll their eyes in disbelief. I knew for 2 months that they were seeing each other and that he was still sleeping with her. I was waiting patiently for him to make a choice all while devaluing myself and hurting deeply. Was I worth so little that I wasn’t worth being faithful to?

Why do men cheat? Many times because they think they can get away with it. If they thought they were going to get caught, they would think twice.

Not for a minute do I think my boyfriend wanted to hurt or lose me, he just wanted his cake and eat it too. He wanted the familiarity of sex with his ex, yet knowing he wanted to build a new relationship with me. She allowed herself to be used. I have no sympathy for her.

So, if you are not totally convinced whether your partner is cheating, what should you do?

Hire a private investigator

If you have plenty of money, hire someone to help you follow your partner. It’s expensive, but at least you can rest at home while someone else does the dirty work and reports back to you. They can also sleuth into who the woman is that your partner is seeing.

Put a tracker on his car

The cheapest way to keep tabs of your wayward boyfriend is to track his whereabouts. You can easily put one of these devices on his car and sit back at home whilst you get alerts with incredible accuracy as to where he is and how long he is there for.

1. PRIMETRACKING Personal GPS Tracker

The downside is that you have no idea who he is at the bar with, but if you text him when you know he’s out socializing and he lies and says he’s home….then maybe it’s time to march down to the bar and confront him.

The battery in this tracker will only last a week if you set it to ping every 3 seconds, but if you set it to alert you every 10 minutes, it will easily last a couple of weeks. It easily attaches to the underside of the car or the wheel hub with the case you buy this magnetic, weatherproof case.

2. Spytec M2 Waterproof Weatherproof Magnetic Case

It’s easy to charge it when he’s staying overnight and simply put it on his car first thing in the morning. If you have easy access to his car, you can hide the tracker in the car and not purchase the magnetic case.

It’s $25 a month for the tracking service or $60 for 6 months and they have excellent customer service. I had a bit of trouble setting mine up, and they were amazingly helpful.

Yes, you can creep his phone, check his emails, and yes, you can drive yourself crazy. You can also do what I did. With no hard proof but my strong gut to alert me, I confronted him. I didn’t ask him why he was cheating, I was direct and told him I KNEW he was cheating. Yes, of course, he denied it, which makes it feel far worse because I wanted him to have remorse and have accountability for the hurt he had caused me. 

Don’t allow yourself to be miserable, and confused like I was. It’s better to know and move on with someone that does value you and feels they are so lucky to be in a relationship with you than be with a liar and a cheat, and someone that doesn’t respect you.

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