The difference between being in love and loving someone


I am not the most experienced person at this topic, since I have only been in love three times but more significantly I loved all three of those men.

What’s the difference?

Being in love is that initial infatuation, that desire to be around that person, almost an obsessiveness. It’s more superficial, surface feelings if you like. You talk a lot, hold hands, hug and kiss. You miss them when they are not with you. You fantasize about the future.

Loving someone goes way beyond the light superficial feelings above. I discovered that loving someone exceeds the sweetness of being in love. It is profound, the kind of love that accepts them for who they are, recognising their flaws, It’s a desire to see them grow and accomplish their dreams. You motivate, inspire love each other through the imperfections.

The hard part is when you love like this and your partner doesn’t know how to receive nor return that kind of complete love to you. They almost resist the love you are willing to give which causes an imbalance in the relationship.

The truth is you cannot receive the love you do not have to give. I only know how to love unconditionally. How do I know when I’m in love? When I want them to be happy regardless of whether that happiness is with me. When I sacrifice my own self for them and trust completely. I know that it takes someone that knows how to love deeply to truly appreciate the beauty of my love and what it means.

I can only ever trust in love. I open myself up to immense hurt and rejection, because I know no other way. I have to believe in love, no matter how hard it is when it fails. Love begins within. If you don’t have self-love then you can not freely and wholeheartedly love another. Self-love is what eliminates so many problems in a relationship and creates the space to see your partner for who he is without the need to be controlling or judgemental.

Loving someone is the most rewarding feeling when it is reciprocated. It feels like all is well with the world, it is filled with acceptance and grace, it brings out the best in you and you want to give and give and let this love grow. If you have a partner that meets you halfway, then cherish it and thrive and grow on their love. Let your love grow beyond measure, and you along with it. There’s really nothing more beautiful than love between two people that is affirming and believing.

When you know you have someone in your life that truly loves you, and is not merely infatuated with you. When they show through actions their empathy and self-sacrifice for you, this is when you know that you have something rare and special. The person that can celebrate your successes as if they were their own and will uplift and support you through all of life’s endeavours. That’s the ultimate love. Precious, beautiful raw and affirming. It’s very special indeed.

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