Becoming his One and Only

There are only two things that men see a woman as: One of many or his potential one and only. Men are like women in this way, we like choice, we hoard shoes so we can have a choice when we go out. Men do the same thing, they are reluctant to narrow down the playing field, that is until they meet a woman with such high value, that they realize there is almost nothing they wouldn’t do for her. 

Intuitively a man knows if a woman is lifemate material, or wife worthy very early on, and he will treat you very differently from a woman that is one of many in his mind. He will invest his all in the woman that he thinks is the one or invest just enough to keep you around if you are not. Men are smart, they know the amount they need to invest to keep a woman around if you are one of many, because they intuitively know that having a female in their life is better than not having one at all. 

So what you makes you his one and only? It’s simple. It’s the depth of his emotional attachment to you. Men balk from emotionally attaching to women he perceives as one of many. To a man, that emotional connection is everything.

It means he will always put you first and meet your needs before him. Why? Because a person in love is happiest when they put their partner’s needs before their own. Look at the love between a mother and a child. A mother gives and gives all of that child’s life and a child will take and take. When you give you love more, and yes, I believe that a mother’s love is far more complete and full than a child’s love for her due to her giving nature. It’s why we tell our children you will never understand true love until you have a child of your own.

So when a man gves fully of himself, how you feel will impact him deeply, and he won’t think about how much he is giving, because in the giving is where he receives so much more back. It’s the beauty of a strong relationship, one worthy of marriage. The one where the giving from both parties never feels like a sacrifice, but the rewards of how that giving feels to the giver are immense. You become a part of that man’s soul, you are no longer just another person in his life. 

So let’s stop just looking for commitment. What is a commitment? A man that is willing to see or just to sleep with you. Well, whoop de doo. That’s no amazing gift. I want you to feel what it is like to know that you make a man’s heart skip a beat when he sees you, and know that you can depend on this man for a lifetime. Not a relationship filled with mediocrity until he moves onto the next woman, but where you know you have captured his heart, and together you are going to have this amazingly fulfilling relationship that nurtures you to the core and makes you feel like you can achieve anything. A love so great that it will last a lifetime. 

So how do we as women encourage this emotional connection? What makes a man not just want us for sex, but for a lifetime? It’s how we show up. Showing up as a high-value woman. And just how do we do this? We are women that are happy in our lives, engaged in our careers and not desperate for a man. That’s not to say you don’t want a man, desire for a man to complete your life is very different from the need for a man. 

Showing up high value means he knows he has to earn a spot in your already full and fabulous life. 

Here are 5 ways to show up as a High-Value Woman

  1. The high-value woman does not equate her worth to sex.

She gets to choose who and what she does with her body. Sex is not a commodity. She gets to choose who she has sex with and transforms it into a vessel of love and intimacy. She takes back the power and elevates herself by making the decisions herself not based on a man’s wants and desires but her own. She is fully aware that a man shouldn’t be worried about whether she’ll have sex with him, but whether she deems him worthy of her exclusivity.

2) The high-value woman is confident

She exudes confidence from every ounce of herself. She walks, talks and projects confidence, and it comes from within not from those around her. She knows her own self-worth and doesn’t need a man to validate it. She treats herself well and knows that she has a lot of offer a man. She isn’t needy and is able to be fully expressed in what she is looking for in a relationship. 

Thus she attracts a quality of man that knows he needs to step up his game to match her or keep moving along.

3) The High-Value Woman doesn’t feel the need to play games

She doesn’t wait the same amount of time to text you back as you made her wait for you. She doesn’t act coy or pretends to be busy. She is a straight shooter. If a man disrespects her, she is going to call him out on it. If he is not respectful of her time or is flaky he had better step up his game else this kind of woman will be onto the next man. She is only interested in a man that understands and respects her value and seeks her out because of it.

4) The High-Value woman understands her unique femininity

A high-value woman understands what makes her intriguing to men. It is that femininity that lures him in, that openness and softness, your emotional sensitivity and the way you express it. She understands that it’s not what you say but the way you say it. She expresses herself with vulnerability creating intimacy and passion.

5) The High-Value woman has her own going on.

She has her own independent life that she is happy in. She has friends and a social life, she is engaged with her career, and finds happiness and wholeness without a man. He knows he needs to work hard to get her to make room in her busy and fulfilling life for him.

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