We as women are incredibly strong and powerful. For instance for the past 9 years of my marriage I was the breadwinner. The burden of taking care of my children and supporting my family rested purely on my shoulders. It’s a lot of pressure. Now that I am single, I am still in the same role. I am not complaining. I love my career, I am highly motivated and driven and a visionary. That’s where my masculine essence resides. Although it looks on the surface that my career is still very girly, filled with masses of pink tulle, gold sparkles and innocent, sweet little girls, there is so much on the business/technical side that I need to keep on my game.

So when I am I’m in a relationship with a man, there is nothing more sexy and desirable than a strong, dominant man in the bedroom. Confidence in a man is a huge turn on for me, and the idea of being able to surrender to him, and not be in control is absolutely seductive.

The first step to entering a dominant/submissive partnership is to communicate. You need to build up an inordinate amount of trust. It’s almost like a contract. For me, the ideal dominant man, is one that isn’t necessarily telling me what to do, but in reality creating a bubble of fulfilling my wants and desires. He doesn’t cut off my ideas as to what I want in the bedroom, he allows me to take the initiative at times, but subtly he is always the one in control. Our partners don’t just want to have sex, they want us to desire them. To want them. It’s almost a spiritual thing. A woman initiateing sex once in a while is a huge turn on for even the dominant male. The world is a tough place and men still need the affirming love of their partner.

Dominance is never about shaming your partner. If you want to kill off intimacy faster than a hot knife through butter, deny a woman her wants and desires. If you are denying her in the bedroom, she’s going to start wondering where else you will deny her.

The perfect dominant male will allow you to express your fantasies and he will want to explore them with you. He will create the safe space where you can be free and allow yourself to be completely immersed in the experience. Design the safe space where she can feel a little wild, naughty and inhibited. This is where you will start to shine and the emotional connection will strengthen.

The best lover I ever had, was not only dominant but a great listener and full of questions. He left no stone unturned. He also was observant. During sex he would ask questions, and observe, and pay attention to my body language. The best way is to have great communication and be flexible and learn as you grow. He is going to let your inner goddess to come to the surface and allow you to feel more secure, sensual and fulfilled than any other man.

It’s an experience in itself. One that is fulfilling and makes it incredibly sensual, and intimate.