The Tortoise or the hare

The online dating world could almost be the new speed dating. It moves so fast. One minute you’re getting a text, the next night you’re at dinner and he wants to stick his tongue down your throat! Whoa. Wait up. I remember the first time a man kissed me on a first date, and I felt guilty. I asked, is that normal on a first date? He told me I was stuck in the ’80s. Lol.

This is not about a debate as to whether kissing on a first date or even having sex on a first date is a good idea. It’s about the speed of lightning that dating now has. Whatever happened to getting to know someone better? I wish I had statistics about those that started out as friends, and those that hooked up the first night. What are the success records?

To my mind, knowing a man, his character, his integrity and knowing that he can be trusted is paramount to my sense of ease and the likelihood that it can develop into a successful relationship. I’m not out in the dating world for a quick hook up or a flash-in-the-pan relationship. I want something with substance, from someone who has something special to offer me. 

Men that are online dating are marketing specialists. They know how to put their best foot forward. They know how to “sell” themselves and make themselves out to be more successful, more trustworthy and more of a catch than they really are. It’s really cat-fishing. They send you photos that really don’t look like them when you meet them in person, they say they are younger than they are, they make themselves seem more successful than they are, and the last one is laughable. Yes, they say they are taller than they are. Too funny. A woman really knows what 6” looks like, I promise she will notice the missing inches. 

When you zoom in to a relationship like speeding on the highway, you never get the chance to know what the person you are dating is really like. How many times had you wished you hadn’t rushed into a relationship, because if you had only waited a few months, you would have seen him for who he really is, and probably could have avoided heart beak.

Don’t settle for “first available”. There are so many single men out there. Be discerning, keep your options open and your legs closed! Keep dating and making good choices until you find the ONE  not one of many. 

If he’s worth his salt, he’ll be patient. Yes, he might be as horny as hell, but he’ll wait if he is interested enough. You are worth waiting for, and slowing down and taking your time means you’ll be the winner in the end!

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