It’s just words right? They are innocent because there is no action or maybe intent behind them…said no woman ever!

I don’t want to speak for all women, but I know for a fact that I could excuse a momntarirly lapse in judgemnet from a partner that has sex with another woman, but if I were to read texts where he expressed how he felt about her, derired her, wished he was with her rather than me…then it woul dbe game over. Seeing a text like that would cut me to the core of my being. Those words and desires need to be kept for that special one in your life, and once you’ve ventured into the danger zone, you’ve crossed a line, and it’s very hard to go back.

For many men, sex is just a physical act when they have it without a built up connection. They can have a casual encounter and move on, and not get emotionally invested. But, to write out a text where you express how you regreat being with your girlfriend, and that you desire someone else….that’s emotional infidelity.

Emotional cheating is an “Exit”. It’s a prelude to getting out of a relationship that no longer excites you like it once did. The new affair meets your needs where your partner doesn’t.

Here are my top ways that I think an emotional affair is worse than a quick slip up sexual affair:

  1. Actual feelings are involved. He had to feel something for that other woman to have said those things. You want all his affection driven at you, so the sense of betrayal and loss when he says those things you want to hear to another woman is devastating The idea that he likes someone or is attracted to someone more than you stings like crazy.
  2. It’s much easier to angry with a cheater that has sex with another woman, and harder to vilify a man that has just expressed his feeling for another woman. Society does render the same amount of support to those that are a victim of an emotional affair.
  3. It’s so much easier for your partner to deny an emotional affair. “What, it’s nothing!”  Protests of, “If I wanted to date her I would’ve before you.” You start to feel like you are being overly jealous as if YOU are the problem, Chances are, girlfriend, if you are suspicious and your gut says he’s not being faithful, he probably isn’t.
  4. Emotional affairs are far more a threat. The morning after he tells you with a hangover that he had sex with another woman, it’s done. An emotional affair can be drawn out over many months, with the realization that he has always had a feeling for his friend, and they are deepening by the day, making you feel like your worth is tanking in his eyes.
  5. Your partner is cheating emotionally on you unless deep down he has moved on from your relationship. Your relationship is no longer filling his love tank, and you know when he is thinking about another woman, even though he may never as much as kissed her, he has for all intents and purposes stunted your relationship from ever flourishing. You are better off without him. Put your energy and focus on a new relationship, one where he thinks you are all that and a bag of chips.


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