Have you ever been in the frustrating position where you feel like you are having to convince a man why he should date you? Not the dream place to be in. Don’t let six simple words derail you from what you want. Be wary of jumping to conclusions.

For sure, some men are not that into you, just like you aren’t attracted to all men. However, so many men are so wrapped up in their own insecurities and self-doubts that they resist pursuing anything with you.

Not every guy is a player. Some have legitimate issues where they feel paralyzed to make a move. 

Some are really too wrapped up in their careers, and the timing is off, however being too busy is an excuse. He can carve out some time for you, maybe not how much you would, but what he can give for now. 

Some have friend-zoned you, and really do respect you as a friend. They don’t know how to risk a move without risking losing you as a friend.

Some men totally suck at dating but would make a fabulous boyfriend. 

Some men are commitment-phobic in the beginning, but once they relax and get more comfortable with the woman and her expectations, they lose their reluctance.

It’s easier for a woman to date a strong assertive man. He comes on strong, pursues you like crazy, but holding out for a gentler less aggressive man should not be ruled out because maybe he is your match. Don’t think the only way to get into a relationship is to get swept off your feet, sometimes slow and steady wins the race. 

If you feel like you’ve been friend-zoned and you made advances maybe it’s time to get serious and get down to business. Perhaps this man is just nervous that he won’t measure up in bed. My advice: Back off. Yes, if you’ve been making all the moves and that hasn’t worked. Do the opposite. Stop. Stop everything. No more texts with loads of sexual innuendo. No more suggesting what you would like to do to him. He’s is going to wonder what’s up. Good Let him.

In the meanwhile, you are going to jump back on dating sites so he knows that there is only a certain amount of time until you meet someone else. A little pressure never did anyone any harm.

You are going to focus on YOU. Being the best version of yourself that you can be. You are going to start moving, getting in the best physical shape that you can be. A morning walk, hitting the gym to tone those arms for sexy date outfits. 

You are going to revamp your wardrobe. Add a few pieces that show off your body and its curves in the best way. If you have amazing legs, a short dress, or if your cleavage is your best asset, a top that shows just enough of a hint without going overboard. You don’t need a lot of pieces, just enough to add some new life to your new look and more confident attitude.

You are going to invest in your other friendships, be a more giving friend. Go and do things that you normally don’t make time for. You love kayaking…then carve out time for it. Make time for those things and people that you value.

You are going to “fill yourself up”, complete yourself and make you whole, content and happy with your life. You can’t be looking for a relationship to make yourself happy. It needs to come from within. Men love women with confidence and you are going to feel better inside and out, and know that you are a good catch and he would be lucky to have you in his life romantically.

Now what? Well, Rome wasn’t made in a day. You are going to continue to see your friend, flirt with your friend, be happy and laugh and make loads of eye contact. Don’t show him you are interested anymore, let him keep guessing. Since you chasing him wasn’t working this new tactic is going to make him wonder what’s going on, are you still interested in him? Suddenly he’s going to curious. Now is the time to be the “prize”, not the pursuer.

After a period of time, if he still hasn’t made a move, and you’ve given it several months, I hate to tell you this, but he’s either not that into you, or he has such huge insecurities, that you are better off without him. If you have to take the consolation prize, at least you are in great shape, are happy in your life, look like a million bucks, and better yet, you are out there dating and guess what, you are likely going to find another man and be grateful that he pursues you, and wants and desires you, and isn’t hard work and discouraging.

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