The Nitty Gritty of Sexual Pleasure

In your life, who have you ever spoken about sexual pleasure with? When you were young, did anyone talk about sex and what it can do for you and how fun and pleasurable it is? Nope, nor me. Why is it that we give our kids the “Sex Talk” and we have delightful banter, but we really never delve into the nitty gritty about the pleasures of sex and how to get there. We don’t even have these conversations with our girlfriends.

As babies, we touch ourselves and we don’t distinguish between the different kind of touch. But as young kids guaranteed we were told at some point not to touch ourselves. At that point we start to reframe our thinking into the fact that touching ourselves is somewhat dirty, and so a whole life long thought of sexual touch being “bad” or inappropriate starts.

As teenage girls, we felt like we couldn’t express out interest in sex because then we were called sluts. We had a million questions, but no one to ask them. Our generation couldn’t browse the internet and find our answers. We had nothing to rely on other than some uneducated girlfriend who had tons of questions herself.

There are many women, single, in relationships and marriages that never experience an orgasm, with or without their partner. We have to allow ourselves the permission to explore our bodies. The stigma of that it’s not correct or “dirty” has got to be banished. Start by thinking about your body, almost a “warm-up” to your exploration and discovery. So much of sexual arousal starts in the brain. Start allowing yourself to think sexually and with curiosity. As women, we are so goal driven, to be the best mothers and successful career women, but we don’t put the same status on our own sexual pleasure. What a waste to go through life without experiencing our bodies to the full.

Get comfortable with how your body looks and get familiar with your anatomy. Take a mirror, and get up close and personal with your amazing body. Every woman looks different. Embrace your female anatomy. In quick review, the female genitals are made up of the clitoris, labia minora and majora, vestibular bulbs, the urethra, the vagina, and the surrounding tissue called the vulva. The clitoris is the only human body part that’s own function is sexual pleasure. It’s an amazingly sensitive organ with over 8000 nerve fibres, more than any other part in the body. Most women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, which is why many women never achieve orgasm from penetration alone.

Carve out time when you can be uninterrupted, lock the door, put on some soothing music and get down to exploration. Remember, practise makes perfect. There are so many different techniques that can be experimented with from simply placing your whole palm over your genitals and applying downward pressure as you circulate your hips in response to using fabulous toys. I am a huge advocate of toy experimentation. It can awaken sensations that you never thought were possible. The Magic Wand is probably in my humble opinion the toy to reach climax the quickest, and is certainly so easy to use. You can experiment with it for solo or partnered play or place it against a dildo and enjoy the incredible sensations. If you only have one toy in your arsenal…let this be it! This is a corded toy, so make sure to have an extension cord under your bed to supplement the 6ft cord it comes with.

Tantus toys are some are the most beautifully quality toys made on the market today. They are handmade, hand poured and artistic in nature. They are created to be super easy to clean, and has a removable bullet vibrator. This one is a beauty. The Goddess  has incredible curves and is a perfect toy for solo or partner play.

You want to explore what feels good to you. No book or manual can teach you what your body will respond to. Try all sorts of things from circling (creating consistent circular motions around the clit) to rubbing and toys. Don’t feel that you need to put a time limit on how long it takes for you to climax nor should you feel that this is the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is to explore, excite and feel immense pleasure whilst getting familiar with your body.

The more that we elevate our pleasure of the depths of guilt and disdain and uplift it into normal daily conversations with girlfriends and our loved ones, the more that we elevate ourselves to who we were created to be.

How to lubricate

I prefer water based lubricants over coconut oil. For one, you can’t use coconut oil with condoms, as it breaks down their integrity. Secondly, coconut oil is antibacterial and antifungal so it has the potential to upset the PH balance of the vagina and cause yeast infections. Not only that, it’s a sure way to start breaking out in small rashes and pimples all over your body. For safe and sexy lubrication I love sliquid lubricants. Use code “Embraced” for your special discount. Fun made simple and sexy. Check them out, you’ll love them too!

Alright girlfriend, it’s time to take charge of your own health and wellness, and yes, pleasuring yourself and having a happy and safe sex life is all part of feeling fulfilled and feminine. It all starts in the mind, and with so many products in the market today, whether you have a partner or not, you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure.