I’ve tried the boyfriend route…for me, it was highly disappointing. It didn’t feel much different than when we were just casually dating or friends. Throw some sex in and it didn’t really make me feel more connected. Nothing changed, he still went out with his friends, still saw his ex, and didn’t see me much more frequently than before we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Now maybe that’s because this man had some serious issues, that quite frankly I don’t think many women would put up with, but it did get me thinking, what is it that I want?

I want someone to inspire me.

I want someone that makes me strive to accomplish great things and achieve my dreams and goals. I want someone that believes in me, encourages me and instills in me the courage to forge ahead to make my dream a reality. I want a man that can inspire me with how he conducts himself, one that I derive great motivation from seeing him go after his goals with tenacity and enthusiasm.

I want a man that is in sync with me sexually

You would think this would be an obvious one, but no it’s not. If you lead with your heart, and you start having feelings for a man that you suspect that you would be sexually incompatible with, yet you pursue him anyway. I’ve done this, I told myself that good sex wasn’t the bee all and end-all. Fiddlesticks! It is so incredibly important to have a man that lights your fire. I want a man that creates fireworks in the bedroom, is supremely confident and turns me on no end. I don’t want a man that lacks confidence and I feel like I’m picking up the slack to boost his ego.

I love a man that lives limitlessly

I’m drawn to this rare man that lives his life without obstacles and excuses. I want a man that is a problem solver not a problem finder. The man that sees everything as a potential problem is a drain on your energy and the negativity saps away your enthusiasm for life. I want a man that sees everything as an opportunity and sees the potential in all things. That’s a man who is expansive in his thinking and a visionary. That’s a man that I am drawn to like flies to honey.  I love this saying, “Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.”

I want a man that includes me in his life

Have you ever had a man that makes decisions that completely exclude you? I knew when my relationship with my boyfriend was going south when he’s was planning amazing trips…without me. It’s almost funny, except that it’s sad. You care for someone, why would you not want to travel with that person. If you can’t conceive of traveling together for a couple of weeks, then why on earth are you with them? It’s the small things that make you feel that he either considers you a priority, or you are just a small part of his life. It’s up to you as to which you want to accept.

So, to the future love of my life, you want to reel me and keep me forever? Then make me a partner in your life. Make me feel more than just a casual interlude. I don’t want a fling, I don’t want a somewhat on-again-off-again relationship. I want a full-on partnership, where I feel like I am a priority and you have a vision for us together in the future, and daily you take steps to ensure that future.