My ex-husband recently said to me that I am one of the few women he knows that ages better sexually as I get older. It’s true, I feel so much more free and able to express myself than even a few years ago. 

Why is this? I think it’s because as we age, we have less responsibility. Suddenly our kids are older, do their own laundry and we’re not run ragged and exhausted. We start to look into new opportunities with our newfound freedom, and that includes enjoying sex an awful lot more. As we near menopause we don’t have to worry as much about the risk of falling pregnant, we feel more liberated to speak our minds, ask for what we want in bed, and relax and let the sensations flow. 

After 47 years on this earth, I am accepting of my body. I no longer worry about whether I look like a Madonna lying there, and the chances are I am not with a Greek God either. Just two real people, who should be able to openly express their desires. It’s important to realize that as we age, sex appeal isn’t just based on our physical attributes. When we were younger we were too much in our heads about what we looked like, and put the emphasis on penetrative sex. As we age, we tend not to rush to the finish and enjoy the journey instead. We bring fantasy in, an incredible technique learned over decades and it’s more about the experience along the way than the final destination.

We allow our creativity to take over and stop rushing for the spectacular finish. When things are more fun, we enjoy them more and want them more, so if you’re like me you want a lot more sex in your 40’s than in your 20’s…and it’s so much better!

I have a healthy sense of entitlement that I desire great sex…no incredible sex. I have no qualms telling a man just what I want him to do to me and not blushing even a smidge. No, these are new times, a time to embrace what we want and desire, and honestly, if you don’t tell a man or show a man what you want, how on earth do you expect him to guess?

We get to celebrate our sexuality, and stop faking orgasms, but rather guide our lovers to how he can help achieve you experiencing multiple orgasms. We get to explore with a plethora of really good toys and get to find out what feels so good for us. 

For me, sex is carefree and easy. It’s all about the connection and the amazing feeling that brings me. Through that, I relax and completely surrender to this amazing gift that we can all get to receive. Lowering shame and a sense of judgment will get you to this magical and blissful place.

If this is what aging feels like I say, “Bring it on!”