First of all, what is the friendzone? Well, for those of you lucky enough not to have been permantely parked there it’s like relationship purgatory. One where sometimes he’ll let on what he’d like to do to you, and other times he’s as cold and clammy as a fish romantically. He’s hot and cold, and you can’t for the life of you figure out what he wants. Basically, it’s where one “friend” cares or loves the other “friend” but for some reason, the latter doesn’t seem to want to a move out of the comfort zone. 

He’ll treat you like a sister, or a therapist or a dating coach. He’ll tell you about his recent dates not realizing that he is cutting you to the core, and you smile and try and give him advice. How does he fall for new women when there is the attractive one who is mutually “in like” with him? Well, the new woman is am an illusion. He can paint her up to be anything he wants.  How do you remove yourself from being his best friend and get him to see you like the sexy, beautiful intelligent woman that you are that would be an incredible match for him?

1. Stop

Yes, you are going to recoil, maybe even temporarily through a few naughty words my way…but just STOP. Withdraw from his life. Stop texting him every 5 minutes. Stop calling him every day. Be elusive. Be distant. Be a little mysterious and less available. He’s been taking for granted what was right in front of his eyes. He enjoys you as a friend, now it’s time to get him to miss you. Let him wonder about you, what you are doing, thinking, seeing? You’ll be on his mind just by you being less available to him.

2) What kind of man is he?

Alright, not exactly what I mean. I mean what is he attracted to? Is he a breast man? A leg man? Well when you do see him, think very carefully about what you are going to wear. You know he can’t stop looking at your cleavage, then seduce him with it! He loves long, sexy legs, then show yours off. We are going to seduce this man, change up our look so he starts to see us in a whole new light. The one where he sits there and has the urge to kiss you. 

3) Go out, Date, Have Fun!

Yes, sitting around waiting for your “friend” to date you is not really good for you. It makes you feel desperate and needy. In the meantime while your friend is waking up to what he’s missing out on, it’s time for you to put the fear into him that his “friend” may find a really worthy suitor soon, and so if he has any notions of wanting to enter a relationship with you, he should step it up a notch.

4) Be your best self

Somehow what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked for you. I’m not saying you should change for him, but I do want you to look deep inside yourself and ask what would you like to change about you, for you? Do you want to shed those last 5 pounds? Are you bored with your hair? Do your jeans look like the 90’s want their mom jeans back? Have you been neglecting your hobbies, the things that make you happy? Have you got out of healthy living routines, clean eating going for walks, etc? 

Here’s my biggest piece of advice. You do you, and let him worry about himself. You can’t force this man to want to date you. You can flirt outrageous with him, you can try to seduce him, you can flatter and charm him. If he takes the bait, yay you, you got what you want. If he doesn’t, you are a better, happier person, who’s going to attract just the right man now that you are feeling more confident about your looks, and more fulfilled and happy by the changes you have made in your life