You are in competition girl. You might as well face that right from the beginning. The idea of online dating is that you don’t compete but stand out like a flamingo in a flock of pigeons. You are the queen bee and don’t you forget it. So how do you get to be the unicorn and stand out on dating sites?

Your profile

This is super important. Other than your photos it’s all a man has to go on. You have to be honest, and you have a few short paragraphs to get who you are across. I get an enormous amount of compliments about my profile. Mostly that it is different, refreshing and it reels them in. Yes, it’s long, but at the same time succinct. It is positive and affirming, warm and speaks to who I am and what I am looking for. Ladies, here’s a tip, check your grammar and for heaven’s sake use spell check. You want to come across as articulate and intelligent, and nothing is worse as a first impression as someone that didn’t check for typos. Think carefully about the image you want to convey.

Your profile photos

Oh dear. What to say about these photos? They are super important. Alright, let’s get the cliched ones off the table. No sunglasses. Don’t you want men to see your eyes? They are the mirror of your soul after all. Think twice about the image you are portraying. What are you looking to attract? If you want to come across as a classy woman, then dress like one, don’t put grainy photos out there, and leave the dogs and kids out of photos. Shine with your best light, and make sure to include at least one full-length photo. An absolute no-no is to use your favorite photo from 10 years ago. I would say that photos that are more than 2 years old shouldn’t be considered. The number one beef that ALL men that I have met online are that women are dishonest about the age and weight. Nothing is going to kill the first date than a man meeting a woman that doesn’t resemble her pictures. It’s not like your sparkling personality is going to win him over. Be proud of who you are and own your age and your body. If you are curvy, there are so many men that find that attractive. Point it out as a highlight in your profile. Nothing is sexier than a confident woman that is comfortable in her own skin.

Meet where you feel most comfortable

They invite you to a heavy metal band, it’s okay to say you’d prefer a quiet drink. The invite you to play pool…perfectly okay to say that doesn’t interest you. Make a joke and suggest just a drink. I don’t do dinners on a first date. It’s just too much pressure, and I prefer to keep it easy and light. Make sure for your own safety that you meet in a public place and you drive yourself there. And let’s not state the obvious, make sure you don’t drink too much!

Avoid discussing who else you are dating…or the ex

Keep the focus on who you are with at that moment. No titillating tales of men that you are currently dating or going on and on about your ex. You want to make your date feel special, and not put the focus on other men even if they are your ex!

Be you

Be unapologetically you. Dress you, speak like you, act like you. Be authentic. If he doesn’t like what he sees, then good, you won’t be wasting any more time. Don’t try to be something you are not. Don’t try to be what you think he would like.