Do you ever feel that your relationship is completely unbalanced? That you’re the one that’s doing all the work, cooking special and romantic dinners, making an extra effort to look and smell amazing when you go out, and always trying to go the extra mile to think up fun adventures to experience together?

Yes? Doesn’t it make you feel terrible? As if you are not enough. That you need to put in even more effort because he is not responding like you think he should? The very things you are doing are actually causing the exact opposite of your desired outcome. You are pushing him away. By trying so hard to please him, by being as sexy, and more enticing, engaging and anything else you think he wants you to be, you’re not drawing him closer. You are trying too hard. I know you want this to be that he sits up and thinks, “If I want to keep this amazing woman I had better step up to the plate and reciprocate.”, but you are having the opposite effect.

Unfortunately, when we try so hard, instead of coming across as High Value, we come across as needy and desperate. We lose the mystery and the pressure on him to please us dissipates. We want him to love and crave us madly, and for him to see us as the most intriguing woman. We want him to be completely captivated by who we are. 

Changing our mindset

The secret is to STOP doing and just start to be. I am a very big culprit of this. I am so fiercely independent that I find it very difficult to allow a man to do something for me. A man has an innate desire to feel needed, to be able to assist, provide and protect. So when you keep on doing for him, he doesn’t feel needed. He wants to give too. It’s not weak to allow him to serve you. It empowers him and opens his heart to want to please you more and more. This is when the emotional bonds start to form within him, and he feels closer to you than ever before. 

Allow him to take you out and pay for dinner. Be gracious and thank him and make him know how much you appreciate the gesture. If he wants to help you around the house, allow him to do it. Yes, we know you are perfectly capable and can mow the lawn, but maybe he wants to do that for you. Relinquish the need to control and allow yourself to be softer, vulnerable and more feminine. I’m not saying a damsel in distress, but let it be known that you want him and that he is needed. 

When we are in “DOING” mode and not “BEING” mode we put a barrier up so or man can’t get close to us. We take away a man’s drive to DO for us. The more you do for him expecting reciprocity the less he is inclined to give, which includes love, sex, attention, romance, affection, commitment, and most of all his LOVE. 

A man shows his love for you by doing things for you. When you start to compete in the doing, then you essentially take his job away. You make him feel unneeded and unappreciated. 

That’s why, if you want to capture his heart, and you want him to be completely devoted to you it’s as simple as this. Stop all your “DOING” and simply in your most feminine state, just “BE”. Be the loving, kind, and receptive woman that you are and get your man to step up and meet your expectations. Let him give, and you receive. 

Learn to tap into your feminine energy so you no longer have to work so hard for love. When you stop and “Be” is when love effortlessly comes your way.

We’ve all felt needy, and had the mindset that you need to do more, be more, show you love him more. You are in control. He doesn’t need to know what you are doing. You are not withdrawing, or withholding attention. No, it’s not about playing games. It’s about you being enough just by being you. That’s not to say you can’t cook him a special dinner, but you can’t do it and then expect more from him. You can’t expect him to feel more or do more because you are. 

Try it. Start today. Surprise him. Next time he offers to do something for you, stop your kneejerk reaction to say no, look at him, smile and say, “Yes, thank you. That would be appreciated.”  I’m telling you, he will respond favorably to the change. What he will notice is the fact that suddenly he can’t keep himself from you! 

Suddenly it will hit you. The more you simply “BE”, the more romance and love you will receive. You have it within you, this miraculously feminine energy that makes you so magnetically irresistible that he wants and desires you more than he could ever imagine. You will never be in that insecure, needy place at the mercy of a man’s affections once you have mastered the art of “BEING”.