I understand I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. For some I’m too reclusive, to others I’m too vivacious and upbeat. I talk too much, yet I also keep my inner thoughts to myself. I’m private.

My shyness can be misconstrued as snobbish, and judgmental. I’m opinionated and have a strong sense of my own moral code.

I’m complex, multi-dimensional. I’m discerning, and to others, that is off-putting. I am a mom to 6 kids. Sometimes I have it all together and sometimes I don’t. To some, I am too organized a control freak, and to others, I am scattered and not focused enough.

See the problem here? I am always going to be too much of one thing for one person and not enough of it for another.

For one man, I’m desirable because I’m in tune with my femininity, I am disciplined in what I eat and drink, I am career driven, I know what I like and what I don’t. I love anything girly, flowers, chocolates, pink and wearing dresses. It’s the fabric of who I am.

To another man, he’d be more comfortable with me wearing jeans and a T-shirt, drinking like a sailor, watching sports on T.V.

I’m tired. Tired of trying to live up to other people’s expectations of me. Tired of feeling like a failure because I haven’t met a man’s approval because I don’t drink. I worry so much about what other people think of me. Keeping the facade of being perfect. I waste so much time wondering out how to change things about myself to please the undeserving man in my life. I try to fit the mold that other people want me to fit into, and each time in my attempt to satisfy them, I undermine my own sense of self-worth and leave myself unfulfilled and empty.

Why? Why the heck do I do that?

Approval

Because I want his approval.

Yep. Sadly, I tell myself I am not good enough, that I should try to eat the foods that I hate, that he’d like me to eat, or drink a drink that I don’t want to, or wear clothes that aren’t me. I deny who I am, and shove my identity down the drain in an attempt to meet some ridiculous notion of approval.

Sister, please don’t be like me. For crying in a bucket, we are too old for this rubbish. This is YOUR life, YOUR journey, and nobody, no man should try to change you. You are who you are. You are enough. More than enough. Stop apologizing for who you are. Stop worrying about what other people think. Stop doubting your decisions. Be who you are; eat what you want to eat, wear what you want to wear, do what you want to do.

If you:

*Want to be a stay-at-home mom, then be one.

*If you want a career…then have one.

*If you want to get married, focus on that. However, if you love the single life, embrace that and stop worrying about pleasing family members that would love to see you married.

*What brings you joy in your life? Do it. Chase your dreams. Live like there is no tomorrow because all we are assured of is today.

*Know the fact that your kids ate dinner, albeit cereal because you were running all day and too exhausted, that mama, you are enough. Your kids love you, and they think you are enough.

*If you cry too much and are emotional and you make others feel uncomfortable…too bad. That’s their problem, not yours.

*If sometimes you have an inappropriate sense of humor and lack a filter sometimes, so what? It just means you’re fun. I know I’d LOVE you!

Life is too short to be a people pleaser. People aren’t always going to agree with you, Live your life as you desire, don’t sell yourself short. Live abundantly, with grace and a rich appreciation for those in your life that enhance it, uplift you and accept you for who you are. Those are the people to surround yourself with.

Find your people. Find your tribe. Your tribe will rally around you, and you them. Don’t just exist but know that you are unique, confident and that by being authentically you, you are living the life you were born to live.