So, you’ve dated several times, and when you’re together it feels so natural and comfortable, you feel so happy and the chemistry is off the charts. You can’t stop kissing him, and when the date ends, you can’t wait to see him again.

He sends you a lovely and complimentary text later that night. Then Nothing. Nada. Radio silence.

My favorite saying since being in the dating world,” Everyone has 5 minutes in their day.” What man has the cheek to passionately kiss you and then diss you? I’m sorry, but if you want to have a chance of dating me further or for that matter enter into a relationship with me, you’re gonna have to try a wee bit harder. It’s confusing and hurtful to leave someone not knowing what you want.

You see, men have it tough. On a date, they have to ascertain whether you are interested in kissing them at the end of a date. They have to weigh up the pros and cons. Will they get rejected? There’s so much pressure on men. They have firstly ask you out, decide where to take you, try and figure out what you like. That’s a lot to consider. All we have to do is look our best and show up.

Where woman have it difficult, is the merry dance after the date. I don’t believe in pussyfooting around. If I like him, I going to tell him. I’m just too much of a straight-shooter not to. I think it’s cruel not to let him know that you are attracted to him, I’m not into games. However, most men that are somewhat serious about getting to know me will start texting, usually twice a day, maybe more. Usually a good morning text and a good night text, sometimes with a few funny memes thrown in for good measure. It’s enough that sends the message that they are thinking of me and are interested in seeing me again. It’s a good flow. It’s not distracting, it’s not texting for hours on end, but it does bring a smile when I see his initials pop on the screen on my phone. It makes me feel special. It makes me feel that he cares enough to know that I am still in the land of the living.

There’s nothing sexier than someone who wants you as much as you want them.

Allow him to miss you

So what if a man doesn’t text you very often, but he shows all the signs that he is interested? My advice is to give him some space and time. Yes, it’s difficult because you want him to miss you so much, that he texts you. You want him to worry that if he’s not filling that void then someone else is. You want him to want you. Guess what? You can’t make a man want you. What you can do is come from a place of high value. Text him once in a while, if you get no response, then stop texting him. Don’t come across as desperate.

This is where rotational dating comes in handy. It prevents you from putting all your eggs in one basket and coming across as too needy. If you are casually dating several men, then it helps to not only have one man to focus on. You’re getting attention elsewhere. If the man you are super keen on doesn’t text you daily, then take the attention from the other men, enjoy that and use that as your defense against a barrage of texts to the man that isn’t reaching out to you.

Play it cool

Fine, he doesn’t want to text you daily. Take that as the pace that he wants to go at. Allow him to miss you. If you keep texting daily you don’t give him enough space to miss your presence. At least let it go a few days. 

Keep busy

You are an amazing and dynamic woman with a busy fulfilling life. DO NOT put it on hold for a man that you barely know. Keep striving for those goals and keep dreaming big. He will be attracted to a woman that is engaged in her life, content and happy. Don’t keep checking your phone every 5 minutes to see if he has texted, and don’t drop everything to respond when he does. Give it some time when he texts. Get him to wonder what you are up to that you haven’t texted him right back. Go about your life and see if there is space for a man that emotionally isn’t meeting your needs.

If it’s meant to happen, it will

Believe you me, I know what it feels like to be infatuated with someone, scared that they don’t feel the same about you, on the same level. Hoping against hope that they are the one, and they aren’t playing games with you. The thing is, time will tell, and when we try to force something we inevitably risk scaring him off. So breathe. Relax. Use that energy and pour it into self-care. Go for a walk, to the gym, pamper yourself, write a blog or diary post, garden, go out with girlfriends or even other dates, because you aren’t in control here, and we need to tap into our feminine and be patient.