When a man cheats on you, he robs you. Robs you of your innocence. He strips you of the ability to be able to meet someone and trust that man at face value. He steals your faith in humanity and makes you jaded.

No man is worth you feeling like you are less than. That you don’t have enough value for someone to be faithful to you. He is worthless and unworthy of a woman like you. You deserve a man with a moral compass, one that will love and protect you, not emotionally devastate you and cause you to question your value. Here are x ways to take back what was stolen from you.

Get Real, Not Angry

Feel your sadness. Don’t layer with anger, because anger is toxic, and it makes you avoid the healing process. Of course, you are going to feel angry, it’s all part of the process, but don’t get stuck there. It’s only when you can let go of the anger that you can process the hurt and sadness. Embrace the sadness, because for sure you will grow from it, as a woman, as a person and as someone’s future lover. You are going to appreciate a man that doesn’t cheat so much more in your future, and because of this horrible man with no morals

Anger is toxic

When you get angry, you get revengeful. You are never going to make your life better by causing misery to someone else. Let me assure you if he’s cheated on you, he’s already in his own personal hell. His new relationship is doomed as it was formed on lies and deceit. You are already the winner here, you no longer have this negative, liar in your life. Rather than putting your energy into hatred, focus on how to change your life for the better. See this is an opportunity to invite true love into your life and start afresh with someone deserving of your love.

Don’t obsess about the other woman

When I was cheated on, it was with a woman who was down and out on her luck, couldn’t even keep her electricity on without my boyfriend bailing her out. She was unattractive, overweight, yet he felt comfortable with her because he realized that I was way out of his league. His self-admitted inferiority complex could not handle trying to keep a woman that had her life together happy. A woman who struggled and was needy and dependant on him made him feel more like a man.

I never gave this woman as much as a second thought. She wasn’t worthy of my energy. I’m sure she felt empowered that she could “steal” my boyfriend, and had broken up his last relationship. Not at all. Both I and the woman he dated before me gave this spineless, unworthy man to her. He was unable to keep us happy in bed or out, so we gladly gave this sad woman this man

Distract yourself

Go out with friends. Go back online dating. I enjoyed going back on dating and meeting some really amazing men. Like this very dreamy doctor from Oregon. We met for dinner, knowing he was just here on business. We had the most entertaining dinner with great conversation, and still keep in touch. There are good people out there, people with good intentions, that would like nothing more than to be in the company of an intelligent, attractive woman. I became firm friends with my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. She’s beautiful, smart, and well-spoken, and we go Salsa dancing and even discuss traveling together. I threw myself into my work and enjoyed every minute of it.

So yes, when you are cheated on, he robs you of your innocence, but don’t judge every man you meet by the poor treatment of one unworthy man. There are men out there that will be loyal, that will not lie and that will treat you like his queen. Know that you are absolutely worthy of such a man.