There’s this joke in which a grandmother tells her single granddaughter, “You should be with a man that adores you and treats you like a princess. You should be with a man who is smart, successful and accomplished. You should be with a man who is charming and handsome.” She then adds. “Just make sure these three men don’t meet.”

What are the make or break deals for you? Maybe to someone else they are trivial, but to you they are deal-breakers. Do you know what my deal breaker is? A beard. Minor facial hair and can accept, but a full beard, no way am I kissing that! Lol. But with real sincerity, I am looking for a really good man, kind to his core, that thinks about serving others and puts his ego aside to build true and meaningful relationships and friendships. 

I have never been in a relationship outside of my two marriages. I know that when I commit to someone exclusively it will be with someone that checks a lot of my non-negotiable boxes. He will have to be very special in my eyes, and I have to believe that’s there’s a possibility for a future together. I’m not entering a relationship with the hopes it lasts a year or two. I won’t settle.

Be picky about the things that matter. Be picky about the way he makes you feel, the way he treats you. Does he look proud when he is with you, does he introduce you to his friends? Don’t settle for less than you deserve, someone you are attracted to (Not who your friends think you should be attracted to), someone that stimulates you intellectually and someone that excites and evokes respect from you. 

Know your self-worth. Create a list of what you are looking for. List those attributes that are important to you. It doesn’t matter if they seem trivial, it’s your list, and what you are looking for. Being discerning means taking your time to find your Mr. Right and likely it will have a much better chance of success because of it. 

One of my best friends told me this and I love it. I am excited to share them with because they are words to live by: Don’t look for a man that you can live with, find a man that you can’t live without.