Screen time vs time with your partner

I get it. We are all tired at the end of the day. I’m no different. I just want to crawl into bed and veg out. BUT, if you are in a relationship, you owe it to your partner to give some quality time at the end of the day. Nothing will make him feel less than, you putting on Real Housewives of Wherever, without giving him that important interaction that validates him and says he is is the most important thing in your life.

1) Different bedtime schedule

This is a HUGE thing. If one of you has to get up for work in the morning, and the other one works from home, it’s not going to take long for sleep deprivation to set in for the early riser. It’s a recipe for disaster, and it tears apart relationships. Nothing feels lonelier than wanting to spend time in each other’s arms, talking, sharing and bonding, what I like to call “Fuzzy time” but your partner is more interested in reruns of The Office. 

This shouldn’t be swept under the rug. It’s a good time to chat about this outside of the bedroom before resentment sets in. A grudge is likely going to start, especially with the person needing to get a good night’s sleep to tackle the long workday, which brings me to…

2)Being inconsiderate of your partner’s schedule

If your late-night habit of working in bed or TV watching is keeping your partner from getting a good night’s sleep, then it might be time to consider taking the TV or laptop/phone out of the bedroom. The bedroom is meant for sleep or sex, not for watching TV or for scrolling Facebook. If your partner has to be up to get kids ready for school and then tackle a long day at work, just how long do you think it’s going to be before they start resenting you for struggling with fatigue during the day?

3) Missing out on post-coital bliss

You’ve just finished making love, and he reaches over for the remote. What? Right after sex is when she feels more connected to you, and when she craves emotional attachment. You reaching for the remote is dismissive, and you are losing out on what to her is the most important part of lovemaking…yes, the bond she feels with you afterward. You are losing out and jeopardizing your relationship or at the very least stunting it’s growth. 

4) Not making your partner a priority

Do yourself and your relationship an enormous favor. Take your devices out of the bedroom before you find yourself in this rut, where your relationship takes a backseat to the TV, Instagram, the news, etc. It distances you emotionally from your partner and can impact you getting a restful night’s sleep. If you’re waking up in the middle of the night, the stimulation from the light of electronic devices can be to blame. 

To be patient, loving, kind and tolerant of our partner, we need to have sufficient sleep. Sleep deprivation leads to crankiness, and we all know how that works in a relationship!

4) Intimacy first

What makes your relationship stand out from other connections. Well, hopefully, it’s the only other person you are having sex with. This is sacred. Why wouldn’t you want the best sex life? Why not want to make it the most fulfilling and incredible sex of your life? That’s not going to happen with a TV in your bedroom. Not only do you isolate your partner, but you are cutting off your own nose to spite your face. You lose out too. You lose out on that intimacy, that connective time, the one that makes your relationship feel invisible. Why would you not want the strongest relationship possible?

So if you care for your partner, and value your relationship, then act lovingly and take the TV and devices out of the bedroom and connect with each other on a deeper level. It isn’t going to harm your relationship if you sacrifice devices in the bedroom, but the gains you will make in your relationship are bound to make an enormous and positive impact.